But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
