my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Everyone says I win the strip club
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize