do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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