The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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