No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I should be sponsored by Trojan
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
