I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
