This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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