We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
It's shark week go big or go home
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
