you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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