I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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