barbara walters just said penis...
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
