just come out here and I will go home with you...
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
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