porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
