He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize