I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
