No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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