She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
