i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Your dad touched me again.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
