Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
