He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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