Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
