meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
The ass gains better be worth it
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