Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
