in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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