Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
