Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
