It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
