Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
