Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
