if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Randomize
