Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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