You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
You've changed since you got that strap on
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
