i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Randomize
