You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize