i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I showed him my bush... on skype.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize