sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
