Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
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