I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
