all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
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