You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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