he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
