ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
where does the pee come out of this thing
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
