That's intense
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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