drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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