Nicole vs. Life
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
