I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT