Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i just had sex bonerless
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches