I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
