just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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