Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
