Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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