Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
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The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
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How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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