If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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