if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
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