They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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