this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
