I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize