It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
