DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
