I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
